The changes that come with a divorce can make children act in manners they wouldn't usually behave. One thing that can come at this time is sibling rivalry. Even kids who haven't ever gone through this might suddenly start to have these battles when their parents split up. While it is normal for siblings to vie for attention, the uptick in this situation might need to be addressed.
Child custody situations aren't always easy to work through. If you and your ex agree on most of the major points of raising children, you might find that makes it is a bit easier. Unfortunately, this isn't always the case. When there are disagreements, you need to have a plan for how to work through the situation. We are here to help you focus your parenting plan on what is beneficial to the children.
When you are going through a child custody matter, you have to put the child's needs first. This doesn't always come easily, especially for those who are dealing with a controlling, manipulative, or narcissistic ex. In these cases, you have to consider how the contentious matters between you and your ex might impact your children.
When going through a divorce, you have likely spoken to your child about their future living arrangements, no matter their age. It's possible that even very young children will have questions and communicate preferences about which parent they would like to live with in the future.
Parenting plans are the basis of your co-parenting relationship. When you set it up, you have to think about what is best for the children and not what is easiest for you. This can be difficult because you might want everything your way after the divorce. Taking a step back and looking at the situation as a whole might help you determine what you are going to do to make the transition from one home to the other a bit easier for the kids.
Telling your children that you are divorcing is a big event in their life. One thing that you need to be prepared for is the questions that are bound to come up. You and your ex may need to make a parenting plan before you tell the kids because a good number of these questions are going to have to do with how they are going to spend time with both parents. We know that these questions won't be easy to answer, but taking the time to make a plan can help you to put the kids' feelings at ease.
When couples with kids divorce and begin to parent across two households, their individual parenting styles often emerge. When they were together, one parent may have simply gone along with what the other parent did, so that spouse's parenting style was the one the kids got used to.
Sometimes, following divorce, one parent may be largely absent from their children's lives. Often this is because they're living far from the kids and the custodial parent. Maybe they're even overseas while serving in the military. Unfortunately, some parents have little or no contact with their kids because they're incarcerated or in an in-patient recovery or mental health facility.
If you and your spouse are divorcing, your children have likely already witnessed some parental conflict in your home. Now that you're co-parenting across two homes, you're probably more cognizant of the impact of parental conflict on your kids. You've heard about the negative impacts on kids' lives, well into adulthood.
If you and your former spouse are recently divorced and still have a highly combative relationship that's making successfully co-parenting your children impossible, your attorney, therapist or others may have suggested the option of "parallel parenting." While that's generally not the ideal co-parenting arrangement over the long run, it can help parents put some space between each other until anger and other emotions subside. Perhaps most importantly, it can save kids the stress of seeing their parents continuing to fight.