When you are going through a child custody matter, you have to put the child’s needs first. This doesn’t always come easily, especially for those who are dealing with a controlling, manipulative, or narcissistic ex. In these cases, you have to consider how the contentious matters between you and your ex might impact your children.
There are times when you have to consider exactly how important a battle is. It might be beneficial for you to let some of the smaller matters go. This may be something like what time the kids go to bed or whether they can have ice cream for Saturday dinner.
By taking the time to ensure you are only fighting important battles, you can save your sanity and model to your children constructive ways to resolve disputes. The battles that you should focus on are the ones that can affect your child’s safety or health. This might include your ex refusing to take your child to the doctor for an illness or your ex wanting to take your preteen skydiving.
We know that there are bound to be some matters on which you and your ex can’t agree. For this reason, you must come to terms about dispute resolution to include in the parenting plan with your ex. The more details that you include in the plan, the less chance there is that something will cause a problem.
If the parenting plan isn’t working as well as it once was or if your children’s needs have changed, you might need to pursue a modification. This enables you and your ex to come to new terms to govern the custody of your children.